Happy Sunday y'all!
And we have made it to Spring in our part of the world! I hope you are able to find some moments to savour the nice weather this weekend, and to nab a bit of relaxation in the course of your day!
Honestly, that inspired this week's YouTube video. This was my first effort at recording a guided relaxation video, to help balance out some of the other, more challenging topics I've covered in earlier weeks. This week, rather than "dropping anchor," "making space for hard emotions"...we've got straight up distraction, a guided imagery exercise next to a peaceful stream. Check it out, if you like:
Although this was my first recorded exercise like this, I've had plenty of practice over the years, both guiding and being guided. Guided imagery can be helpful in a lot of ways, from catching a brief break in the course of a busy day to processing trauma...and who doesn't want to "feel more relaxed," right?
Yet in my experience, there are excellent reasons why a *lot* of folks wouldn't find videos like this one particularly relaxing. So I thought it might be worth a few minutes to explore those a bit, as well as maybe some things y'all can try to bring a bit more relaxation into your life, with our without guided imagery.
1. Video Editing
Maybe my still-developing video editing skills introduced a Heavy Metal clip 30 seconds in, or hisses, pops, etc. kicked you out of that calm head space?
2. Not enough time
Surprising really, how people (myself *very* much included) will convince themselves they don't have seven minutes to sit or lay down and practice relaxation, yet will spend half an hour scrolling social media without a second thought?
Yet of course this can be relaxing, too. If judgmental thoughts come in about "mindless" activities like checking out Instagram, maybe remind yourself there are a lot of ways to take your mind off of the day-to-day grind, and maybe that it's not helpful to be *too* productive all the time!
3. Too many "second thoughts"
Perhaps sitting quietly brings too many thoughts and feelings scurrying from the dark corners of our mind. I particularly hear this a lot with folks who have trouble sleeping at night. And, maybe all of us can relate to this experience at some time or other-as soon as we stop rushing around, the mind will produce all sorts of unhelpful thoughts and feelings that catch and drag our attention elsewhere. Whether stressful, or just weird, this isn't quite the relaxation we're looking for.
4. Preference for a different location
Babbling brooks make you need to pee? Prefer hot summery beaches to Canadian Winter? Maybe you find a woman's voice more soothing? A casual search on YouTube for "Guided Relaxation" will bring up thousands of options, from a couple of minutes to a full 8 hours, and what a wonderful way to explore the world without spending a nickle on travel!
5. Imagery isn't for everyone
Some folks are more able to whip up mental images than others. So many things can affect this, and a lot can be worked through. Sometimes this is because a person carries too much stress and a state of relaxation feels like a threat to them. Sometimes being relaxed has led to danger, and our instincts tell us it may do so, again. There's a reason why I began with the strong suggestion to only practice activities like this when you may safely relax!
In session, we work together to unpack what might be getting in the way of experiencing this kind of a state of mind. We develop a scene which is customized for you, and we do it for a specific purpose. We also have the opportunity for back-and-forth feedback to develop this kind of skill, both in session and in your day-to-day life.
But, if that's not an option for you at the moment...no problem! Here are a few strategies which might help take you in the direction you want to go:
1. Maybe try a few different kinds of guided relaxation videos, or podcasts.
Explore different scenes, and different parts of the world!
2. Lower the bar a bit to start.
Give yourself permission to tap out after a few minutes of practice if your mind and body is restless! It may take time to build up this skill.
3. Set yourself up for success.
Is the location and time of day right for you to relax? Are there distractions around you can reduce? Rather than pretending the kids won't disturb you for a bit, can you try relaxing together?
Though if you're practicing with others, be sure to keep whatever relaxing activity short and simple, to make sure you can stay on the same page. You might be surprised what a few breathing exercises or stretches together can do to help build those relaxation skills!
4. Grounding...always with the Grounding...
Could be your nervous system is just a bit too wound up, and you're not as much in your "Window of Tolerance" as you'd like! Breathing and other grounding strategies (I'll spare you the links again, but I did put some of these up on my channel) may help settle you down a bit to help you focus, either on the guided imagery, or even just to settle down to sleep. This is usually *much* more effective than fighting with ourselves over how you *should* be feeling and thinking.
And yes, we can practice thinking in new, healthier thoughts than the same old habits we've been following.
I'd love it if we could have some conversation about different relaxation strategies you've found helpful, feel free to throw your ideas into the comments section, below, or send me a message to pass on more anonymously!
Take care, sweet dreams, and talk again soon!
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