This morning I came across this lovely TED Talk. More than 11 Million people have seen it before I did, so I wanted to share it here in case it's also new to you, or you might value a refresher:
There's so much there to unpack that I may just have to make a dedicated YouTube video on it in the future! And as it stands, I think that it would play nicely with the video I posted just this weekend:
But, I know how busy you are, so for now, just a few points I'd like to highlight from Ms. McHugh's video:
At around the 10 minute mark, she discusses the "superiority and "inferiority" complex, which lines up nicely with my "Window of Tolerance" video (episode 3), and introduces her concept of "Interiority." Worth a consideration, and not-too-complicated for a Sunday I hope!
This leads into a wonderful example of someone who has *awesome* self-confidence, you've got to see it, if only to give yourself another role-model to jangle around in your brain. Or, as I discussed in this week's video, a new concept of what might be possible in your own life-because as we saw, you can't know, or achieve, what you've never thought of!
As Ms. McHugh suggests in her TEDTalk above, there are three different parts of us:
1. "Presentation" - or what we put out into the world. She describes this as "what everyone else thinks of you," or your "backbone." McHugh also lumps in our "approval addiction" here, which lines up with what I talked about in this week's video about how our sense of the world, and ourselves, is still developing.
2. "Personal"-the desire to improve yourself. This is the drive to make changes, which wishes for something better. She described this as the "wishbone." Often tragedies force us to face and work through, or give up on, some of these wishes. Unfortunately most of us wait until one of these tragic times to reach out to someone like me, or a crisis service, to face up to this need we have. But, she makes the point, what if we asked ourselves what changes we want we still feel strong and confident, with more ability to think clearly about it and actually help make it happen?
3. "Ego"-Phew this word has a lot of baggage associated with it! But, McHugh describes this as basically your sense of who we are. She talks about balancing between feeling "superior" or "inferior." When we can find a balance between "presentation" and "personal" (I'm tempted to connect this to "Hyperarousal" and "hypoarousal" from the Window of Tolerance), we can learn to be more confident in our weird, unique selves.
M'kay. I recognize that this all may bring up some thoughts of "Daniel's being all 'Suzie Sunshine' or 'Rainbows and Unicorns again." "He doesn't get it...that just doesn't apply to me, or my situation."
Well...you might be right, I suppose. The problem with blasting Blog Posts and YouTube videos is, I try to address the most people, and what they need, blindly, even though everyone has their own unique experiences, troubles and abilities (which, hopefully, I touched on on my last video). Or we're all at different "stages of change" while working through whatever it is that's troubling us (I'll get around to explaining that one, too-it comes up a *lot*).
And, if so, I'd like to introduce you to a new feature on my website, the "Client Feedback Express Lane!" Where you can zip right to my inbox, bag up your own thoughts on how we're doing, and serve them right to my brain.*
*Note: Daniel's brain processing times and delays in replies may vary!
Now, ideally the best time to get feedback is right in session, or right afterward. But, sessions can bring up a lot of emotions which make it hard to think clearly, or how the session went feels different after we have more time to think about it.
Not to mention, it can be intimidating to say exactly what we're thinking straight to someone's face!
This is why I wanted to provide another space to send me those notes!
This applies not just to clients of course, but also anyone with thoughts on the Blog, or videos.
I'll admit to some nervousness putting out such an open invitation to the Internets-anonymous feedback callouts often bring out pretty...interesting views. But, I chose to trust people, and to make sure the information I share is useful to as many people as I can manage!
Use the feedback form as you see best! But, just off the top of my head...
-Anything new clients meeting me should know to expect?
-Anything you want me to focus on in my Blog/YouTube?
-Any helpful tricks or resources you'd suggest?
-Anything therapists/books/podcasts you've tried which were just *useless* to you?
-Any need in our rural Nova Scotian communities need addressing?
Let's talk! And I will thank you in advance for helping me deliver a better service to my clients, and my community! Be well, and I hope you have a wonderful week!
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